Refreshed! That’s how I feel. It’s great taking a day off. I had planned on taking yesterday off so I could catch up on grading. Well, those were my intentions. I did not do one thing yesterday. It was amazing. I read a whole book, caught up on emails, did some errands I had been meaning to do for forever, you get the idea. The best part…I cleaned. My whole place. It is so much easier to get stuff done when you are in a clean environment.

When I am surrounded by mess, and I’m trying to get work done, all I can think is, “Man, I have really got to clean that up!” It takes me 5 times longer to do something because every few minutes I’m staring at the mess I should clean. I think it’s like that a lot with me and God. There are so many things I could do for God and for the Patio much more efficiently if I just cleaned up the mess in my life. Many times I find myself in a position of serving and the whole time I’m thinking of something that is heavy on my heart. This has especially been true for the past couple of weeks. Due to this burden I have been short with people, I have pushed things aside, and it has taken me way longer to get things done than it would have if I had come to God with everything. But my tendency is to push it away and ignore it until it all hits me from no where and I am a huge mess. At that moment I can’t get anything done. Every time I try I am enveloped with all of these emotions and I’m struggling to put on a normal, happy face for the benefit of all. And, to be perfectly honest, for the benefit of me and God. If I smile and act happy than I don’t have to face it and bring it to God to see where I’m falling short. Because who likes to be told there’s something wrong with them? Well, God has definitely shown me so much these past couple of weeks through all of this. He has shown me how silly all of my insecurities are and how hard on myself I am. I never thought of myself as a perfectionist, but I am starting to realize that I am a little bit. At least when it comes to me and how people see me. Its hard, and scary, trying to keep up with all of that. So I am very happy to say that I have been cleaning up my mess. Well, God has been cleaning it up. But He lets me help too. So if I have been short with any of you the past couple of weeks, I am so very sorry. If I haven’t been there when I said I would, I am so sorry. Expect this to change. And please, call me out on it if it happens in the future. Because it is unnacceptable and I will not let my mess interfere with the work God is doing in the Patio and in Reedy Fork.

God is so amazing, and every time in my life He smacks me around and tells me to wake up and see the amazing things He’s done and to get over myself it is so refreshing. I am so incredibly lucky to be involved with all of you guys and to know I am loved. Wooo! Now the holidays don’t seem so hard! Not to mention, my mom, sister, and niece were able to come visit me yesterday and stay till today, so we are gonna have a lot of fun shopping and hanging out. But more on that later!